Friday Nights Are For Sleeping

If he doesnt get called up next week, dont tell me i jinxed him. His phone will ring or wont depending on what the sox brass make of what his season has been, and how he's been looking over the past few weeks. With that being said, I'll venture to state that last night was the last time I'll have the excitement of sitting in the stands at McCoy and watching out of the corner of my eye as MB  again and again picked me out of the mosaic of fans. I hadnt been there for pre or post MB start games in weeks so it had been a while since we'd played that game, and seeing as how it's generally assumed that he'll be in Boston very soon, i should have made the most of last night. I've always wondered about this eye footsie that takes place. It's one thing for him to expect me to be there, and to look through the crowd to spot me; it's another thing for him to continually glance over across the park to .. i dont know. To see what i'm doing? When I notice it, I sometimes try to at least put on a little show... tap my hands on my legs to the song playing over the sound system, shout some brief encouragement to whoever's up to bat, stretch... because what else is there to see? During a ballgame, I sit still for the most part, shifting every 10 minutes or so to one of several positions, and I score the game. But I've even got a couple witnesses to this strange phenomenon, not that there's been any doubt left in my mind for a long time of the realness of these occurrences. It's usually obvious enough when he's looking at me sitting in section 1 from his vantage point in section 6 or 7, but it's all the more blatant when i'm in section 3 (because of the angle). He's essentially craning his neck to his right, pretty much behind him. Being undoubtedly the final time this little dance will happen in 2009, and possibly ever, I should have spun to face him (he turns his head definitively in my direction; i face the mound and watch out of my peripheral) or held up a page reading HI or something similar. I've only sat with him twice, and I'm never completely good with doing that... usually I'm afraid I'm gonna get bounced by those over-zealous ushers. Also, when I'm sitting with someone else I have a hard time tracking with the game at all. Still, I love sitting with people who know more about the technicalities of the game than I do. I've become friends with the guy who tapes at-bats for the team, and patches them together and does a bit of analysis on them. His name is Max and he actually graduated from Bucknell one year after two of my best friends, Kearah and Adam, did. Listening to guys like MB and Max talk is refreshing and exciting, because otherwise all I hear all-day-every-day is rollercoast opinions from people who often dont really know, but whose speculations and points of view are somehow generally taken as fact. I get tired of it- i want to know what happened, not just what you have to say about what happened. The Boston media as a unit is a force, that's for sure. I just dont tend to buy it.. which is why I like to get my facts and, yes, even opinions from ballplayers and not as much from reporters.

Man, my writing is already all over the place. Should be an interesting rest of the entry.

I saw a guy on the T a few days ago who looked so smooth in his Dodger blue hat. He was also wearing a similarly-blue t-shirt with white lettering on it, though it wasnt a Dodgers shirt... made me want to get a Billingsley T. I've had to put my like for TX on hold in light of all this wild card stuff, so the Dodgers are getting an extra dose of lovin from me.

The next week will be madness, as if the entire summer hasnt already been. My room is packed away and I plan to completely empty it by noon tomorrow to finish my move to Roxbury. Just for a month, while I finish up at my current job. I'm subletting the room that I'm in right now until January, when I'll come back to Boston and resume life. (Or at least that's the plan, barring any job offers before 2010 from within MLB.) After the move, I'm heading to Foxboro to watch the Revs with a good friend and some of his other friends for his birthday. Softball for tomorrow was cancelled as of this evening so that frees up some time around 3pm. Sunday, church, and then I'm taking my grandma to her first Red Sox game at Fenway! We have incredible seats. I hate hate hate Ace Ticket for how much of a rip-off they are, but I needed seats and I needed them in advance. Craigslist was not helping me. The money spent will be worth it but it's sickening. I like the people I've dealt with at Ace, I like them a lot, but it is really terrible how much they charge per ticket. I realize that this isnt how I make a living, but I can draw some good $$ when I sell tickets wisely- mutually beneficial deals. Why arent we all trying to help each other out instead of just being concerned over getting the better end of the deal? Seriously Ace. $369 for 2 loge seats. Yes, I purchased them so it's ultimately on me, no question. I never ever would have if i didnt have that $200 gift card.
Then September comes, rosters expand, lester bobblehead night happens in portland on 9/2/09, i try to fit as many minor league games in as i can before they're done for the season, and, grin, friday i'm in newburyport on a daaaate. ooooo-oooh. i've been part of a lot of ambiguous date-like situations over the past couple years, but this is very clear-cut. we'll see how it goes. ...and it doesnt end there, as i keep heading north that night to Maine to attend the wedding of my friend from high school to a woman he's been dating for ... 4? 5? years now. Gonna be a fun weekend. During the day on Saturday, they have all kinds of games planned out for us- kickball and the like. It's actually a weekend-long affair, being held at a rented-out summer camp. Everything that they've come up with sounds like it will make for a celebration to remember. My friend Dave, who's birthday is today and who's celebrating tomorrow with/at the Revs game (shhhh, it's a surprise) is also getting married that day. There was no right answer as to which wedding I should attend. I'm closer to Dave at this point in my life, but Jeff is such a long-time friend. Figures that the only weddings I've been invited to this year happen to be on the same day.


As of Monday, my workplace's non-existent dress code (as in, sweatpants/flip flops/cleavage/see through white shirts/tshirts were all allowed... i will dearly miss the flip flops and tshirts, but those of you who know me know that i dont dress provocatively, hah) becomes an existent dress code. We are moving, someday, or so they keep telling us (we were supposed to be in our new location as of last friday).. and the new place is in the financial district, in a nice building, so we have to "adapt to our new environment". I was out sick yesterday and missed the official rundown of the dress code during our staff meeting, so i've only got a memo to go off of. Noticeably absent from mention are flip flops. Also, corduroys. Things that we can and cant wear were detailed so I have hope that both of these articles are still acceptable. But no shorts, except for "dress shorts" (?? i dont really know what those are I guess).. definitely no tshirts. clothing is to be "neat, clean, and pressed"... or something along those lines. Hah. It's one thing to take a job where you know that this will be the standard. You know the rules up front. But the fact that we're having a dresscode wasnt even announced to us until last week! Talk about a serious lifestyle change- no, really, it is. All of the clothing I have out is very casual. I wear the same 4 pairs of shorts, intermixed with a few skirts and dresses. I snag a tank top, or if everything's dirty, a nice tshirt, and head out the door without thinking twice. Flip flops from April through October. Hair? Sometimes, like today, in pigtail braids (you cant wear pigtail braids when you're dressed up like a young professional, that's just silly). I know that I have it in me, but it's more that I never saw it coming. I have one more month at this place and it's going to be tough adjusting for that short period of time.

But really, there's no choice.

I need to spend some time tomorrow catching up on emails and facebook messages. People are starting to followup with me via text/calling to make sure i received their latest note. And that just defeats the purpose. For now, I'm going to fall asleep to the sound of gentle rain outside and the thought of games to come over this next month.

I love you, Boston.

2nd game of the 2009 season

Red Sox vs Rays

Fenway Park

Hush Up.

I've wanted to post- I really have- but my computer gets VERY overheated everytime I use it. My room is already hot enough. This sounds funny, but resting my hands and wrists on my laptop overheats ME.. just not very comfortable. Right now is no different but I just took a shower and am cool for the time being.

So much happens day to day that it's impossible to cover the past week+ that I havent written. Naturally, a few things stand out... Bowden had another go with the Red Sox; our office move got postponed (we, the employees, were told 7 days before we were all actually planning to move); Zink threw lots of strikes today; I helped cook/prepare a meal for the Lowell Spinners; Dustin Richardson got called up to Pawtucket from Portland; Junichi Tazawa established himself as THE MAN; Josh Reddick decided that he only likes to hit well in AA; I started packing up my room as i am vacating the premises for about 4 months; I started listening to Five Iron Frenzy and Relient K again with renewed fervor.

Alright, alright. I know that Bowden did pretty badly on Friday night. My story for the night goes something like this: Wakefield was slotted to pitch in Pawtucket that night, so naturally I was headed down after an early end to the work day (having to do with the crazy postponement of the move date)... it's around 3:30 or 4, and I'm about 5 minutes up I-95 from the spot that 95 splits off and heads towards Providence, when my phone buzzes that I have a text message from Twitter. I check it out only to find that it's something that the PawSox had posted: ****ROSTER MOVE**** Bowden promoted to Boston...... that was enough for me. I dont think I read one more word of that message. I blinked a few times, thought about how it really was going to be a shame to miss out on seeing Wake so close up, that I would really enjoy watching him from the bullpen before the game, that I'd have great pics of the occasion... and quickly (safely) crossed 3 lanes of traffic to pull off at the Westwood exit and turn around, heading north this time back towards Boston. I tried to find tickets, but it became more and more clear that the best deal I was going to get would be around $70. Uh, no thanks... if I dont find a deal I usually dont go, but I always find deals. It's not like it was the kid's debut- probably would have splurged then. Still, being home and not at McCoy meant that I could watch the game on TV. Even better, I thought to myself, would be to go out and enjoy the game away from home. (SO HOT HERE.) I spent much of the game at Tavern in the Square, where I had a light dinner and a beer and a bunch of big-screen TVs everywhere... the coolest part of it all was that right in front of me both the Sox/Yankees game and the Peabody MA/San Antonio TX Little League World Series game were being broadcast.. the TVs were side by side. Couldnt have been better. Those kids are really fun to watch. It was interesting watching how they handled the game emotionally- obviously none of them are physically developed at age 12.
Anyhow, as we all know, Penny was terrible. By the time Bowden came in in the 5th, things were already looking very very bad. Then Mikey proceeded to throw 63 pitches over the next 2 innings, throwing for strikes about half the time and ultimately allowing 7 runs. He was absolutely mauled. There were three different people at the Tavern who asked me at different points during those 63 pitches something to the effect of, "Who's this new pitcher? Why dont they take him out, because he's doing really badly..." And anyone who knows me would have been proud at how patiently and briefly and uninstigatorially (i believe i just created a word) I explained to all three strangers who Michael Bowden is. I didnt try to fight any of them. I didnt sing his praises (although I did promote him). Just figures that people decided to ask me about him and always added a tagline about how horribly he was faring. You know, I was hopeful the entire time. Not once did I think to myself, shoot, he's really done it now. I mean his 2nd pitch was jacked into the stands by Matsui. (Michael was not pleased with this. Anyone watching NESN got a silent glimpse into his thoughts at that moment in time. Lets just say that even "F***" is in its own way sentimental and not harsh when it comes from him while he's out there. When he shows that sort of emotion from the hill it's genuine and it also even simply means that he's feeling that affected and frustrated by whatever is going on.. he usually keeps it together pretty well. When he yells out there, I feel for him.) All along, I was waiting for something to click and for him to get his rhythm and command and go. Never really happened. He knew it, and now all short-sighted Red Sox fans who dont recall how he's served the Red Sox in the other two games he pitched in will forever remember how badly he sucked. What a tough place for development, especially when the expectations and plans that the organization has for you get distorted by the general media. Oh, by the way, he doesnt even turn 23 till September.

Ok, missy. Enough of all that. It's over. Last night I went to a Spinners game with 100 peppermint brownies in tow. A few months ago I had heard that the "Spinners Fan Club" provides home-cooked meals for both teams and the Spinners staff every Saturday that they play at home. It took this long, but finally I was able to get myself involved. The "Fan Club" consists of middle-aged and older folks. No one my age. Interesting dynamic actually. Anyhow, there were about 10 or so of us yesterday providing for 80 people (and then some, quite possibly). I had such a blast. I didnt talk to a single player, interestingly enough. That's because I was chatting with the other fan clubbers. They are quite the little family there... it reminded me of how the Church should feel. Everyone I talked to emphasized how they do what they do for the players and not for themselves (ie not so that they can get up close to the players), because a lot of the guys make next to nothing and cant afford or dont bother to eat well. Overwhelming to think about... people providing for other people just because. I'm around coworkers most of the day every day, and a lot of my coworkers very steadfastly believe that their life, their money, their time is theirs and theirs alone. People blink at me when I talk about volunteer work, or giving money to certain causes that I STRONGLY believe in (the same way I blink at them when I listen to them talk about living life selfishly). They just dont get it. So it was incredible to meet a group of strangers who took to me immediately, who all got along so well, who were all giving of themselves. That's love, plain and simple. I cant wait until next Saturday, which is unfortunately the last Saturday home game of the Spinners' season.

Today I went to McCoy. I dont like to do this, but nonetheless I keep counting down the days that remain as part of this super long homestand (11 games), and it stems from the anxiety of not making it to as many of the 11 games as I "feel that I should".. it's all psychological because I never had a plan for how many I'd be attending this homestand. I've only been to two I think, and something inside clearly feels like I'm wasting all of these home games. Definitely a few in my future this week. Today was lovely. I woke up, rolled out of bed, got a few things together, painted my toenails blue, and headed down the highway. General Admission was all there was when I got there, which was around 11:40am. I climbed the steps and hustled to the railing where the view opens up onto the outfield... beautiful day, sunny, hot, but with some clouds in the sky as well. These old-time teams were playing an exhibition game, and the Paw Sox pitchers were throwing in the outfield. (Almost) the first thing I noticed was that Dustin Richardson was out there in a Paw Sox uniform... I hadnt heard anything about this promotion but it must have happened sometime this weekend, as I would later see on the scoreboard when he came in for a few innings that he had pitched 1 game for Pawtucket prior to this one. About 5 minutes after I arrived, Bowden threw a side session in the pen, and then Richardson practiced switching his grips smoothly in his glove. I like listening to them talk with the pitching coach. I like the pitching coach (Rich Sauveur) period.. he's always friendly to me. Side sessions are never something I plan to watch, because I've never paid enough attention to when they happen (although Sundays seem to be a good bet, for starters), but they're definitely a bonus to watch. The view on either end - behind pitcher or catcher - is so unique.
Paw Sox took yet another loss. Their only win in the last 14 or 15 games was led by a shining performance from Tim Wakefield.. sad huh? Billy Traber pitched well enough, but then again, not well enough apparently. The most interesting thing that happened was Charlie Zink assuming a relief role. I had to look out across the field to the pen about 3 times before i really believed it. But he threw strikes, he struck a couple guys out over 2.1 innings. One earned run. He hit a batter with his first pitch :) that was a funny moment....


I've got Sox tickets for Wednesday vs the White Sox, Friday vs Toronto, and Sunday vs Toronto. I'm taking my grandma to her first game at Fenway that Sunday!! She watches all the games on TV, very much a fan. We have loge seats in line with the vistors' on-deck circle, 5th row. PERFECT. It will surely be a night to remember.


UGHHHHH! It's so hot, it's so hot it's so hot. too hot to straighten my hair, no matter the consequences tomorrow morning. bedtime.

midday musings. just a couple of 'em.

Hi.

The lastest word on the street is that Chris Woodward will shortly be making way for Alex Gonzalez. Some sources are reporting that the Sox have acquired him, but espn.com still reads that they're "nearing" a deal for him. The dance of the shortstops positively confounds me. I know nothing of Alex Gonzalez, save for that he plays for the Reds and was with the Red Sox in 2006.. nor do I have the time to look him up right now, as I'm on a hastily-dwindling lunch break. I hope his defense is exponentially better than his offense (BA .210, OBP .258). But the word on Twitter is that people like this move, so that's sounding good to me right about now.

Zink is on the bump tonight. Can they come home yet? They've got another 4-game series away in Gwinnett. What's worse is that I have been in the mood for a Spinners game (i didnt really know that i had a Spinners mood until this past week..) but they too are on the road. I'm almost considering checking out the Brockton Rox... hahaha... they're probably gone too anyhow.


LETS GO LESTAH! Lets mess with TX.

Futures At Fenway

Yippie! We won last night. Winning feels good every now and again. But backing things up a bit to this past weekend..

Futures was spectacular.

(almost an incredible picture huh? oh well. next year :) )
I was telling a friend last night that minor league ball is something i like studying and analyzing, but Red Sox baseball is what i get intense about. (he was questioning whether i was becoming more of a minor league fan than major league fan.) The Sea Dogs brought in a win, and Jason Place learned what it's like to jack one onto the Monster.

(taken at New Stars For Young Stars event, January 2009)

He must've felt cool after that. Having come face to face with a lot of Sea Dogs players in the past, I think of them as a very young team with a sort of cocky 19-20 year-old air. I know they're most of them 23-25 but that's how they've come off in my very limited experience. Still, the Sea Dogs will always be my home team and I enjoy each of the rare chances to watch their games that I am afforded these days. Jason Place, for the record, was a friendly, easy-going, smiley guy the one time I met him.
My friend Joe's parents are hosting one of the Bowie players but I dont think I got to see him that day. Someday, my family will DEFINITELY host a minor league ballplayer.

Between games there was a nice little reunion as a wave of Paw Sox players crashed into the Sea Dogs, who were evacuating the dugout. Iggy Suarez got the "I Get Around" award, as he was by far the most frequent hugger in the melee. They all mingled for a good 15 minutes. I stole away from my dugout view seating and headed off towards the bullpen as soon as I spotted number 16 and number 15 trekking, heads down, toward the bullpen in right field. We had been speculating about who would be starting- in advance, Tazawa was scheduled to go, but after his call-up, Gonzalez had the start... neither Kelly nor I knew whether the rumor that Gonzalez had been called up last-minute was true, and therefore the chosen starter for the home team was a mystery until that moment where pitcher and catcher were seen walking side-by-side with purpose toward the outfield.

Charlie Zink! (ok, funny enough, but "#15 and #16 (Pedroia and Zink)" are featured in this pic... though when I used that phrase above, i was referring to #15 Dusty Brown who catches #16Zink's knuckleball)

(taken at Spring Training in Fort Myers 2009)


(taken with my phone, July Paw Sox game at McCoy)

I become more and more enamored with the knuckleball every time I see it in action. What a cool pitch. Why dont more pitchers become adequate at throwing it? ...would be a nice surprise to send to batters a few times each game, keep 'em on their toes. Have I mentioned that here before? .. if I have, sorry for the repeat. Clearly, the sentiment still holds. Cha'lie didnt have his best game.. there was a bit of implosion in the 4th and the 6th before he came out.. but I was satisfied. Paw Sox pitchers are tough to gauge because they lack the support of a team that is going to stand strong behind them. The guys certainly dont hit, and tend to look very minor league-ish in the field at times as well. (Let it be known that they just turned 4 double plays in yesterday's game, however- only one of them being on a ground out!) I hate to sound like I'm down on them- I dont mind paying to watch them play, that's obvious. There have been some really bright spots this season, but there have been large lingering clouds too. Anyhow. Paw Sox lost to the Tides, but not before Sean Danielson was put in the game! Spike went 1-1 with a walk and a run!

(taken at McCoy; one of Youk's rehab games, 5.18.09)


(taken at McCoy; one of Youk's rehab games, 5.18.09)

Sean Danielson has this energy about him. Man I wish they'd play that guy. As everyone knows, it's TOUGH to come off the bench and perform as up to par. The first step to him playing more is being taken off the "infinity DL", which happened a short time ago. With guys getting called up rapid-fire these days, I imagine he'll be active for the last month of the season. What a hand he was dealt this season, definitely a shame. He was a great 1st base coach, but he should have been so much more.


[Josh Beckett kicked the tar out of the Tigers tonight... we won 8-2, and Beckett got his 14th win of the season. Bay went 3-3 with 2 walks, 2 doubles, and another homerun (2 runs, 2 rbi). Lowell went deep as well.]
[simultaneously, Adam Mills did not fare so well in his Paw Sox debut: 2 IP, 57 pitches/41 for strikes, 9 hits,5 earned runs, 1 BB, ERA.......... 22.50]

(taken during Spring Training in Fort Myers, Feb 2009)

AH! Michael Bowden did his thing vs the Charlotte Knights, going 5 innings, 88 pitches (59 for strikes) with no runs and only 3 hits given up. Yes, 3 bb, and only 4 k (both numbers lean towards the sub-par for him as he is known as more of a command guy)... but it led the Paw Sox to a victory, and a shutout at that. I cant speak to much more than his line stats as I wasnt watching it play out.

(taken at Spring Training in Fort Myers 2009)

Relieving to have another solid outing from him and I hope he is comfortable and ready once he gets the call... if not in August then certainly in Sept. If he makes it in the bigs, I will be rooting for him like I root for Petey and Bay.
I actually havent been to a Red Sox game since directly before the All Star Break. Yeah, can you believe it? I think I'm saving up for some nice seats once September hits and things start getting crazy, and all the minor leaguers come to Boston. That's going to be spectacular. It's been hard though, especially this series... I've had a pressing urge every day this week to hit the game after work and have been prowling craigslist. In the end though, I've talked myself out of it each and every time. AGH! Completely torn.. would definitely have gone if not for Futures this past weekend, when I got to hang out at Fenway all day of course. Oh well. Good things are coming, and soon.

(Spring Training 2009)

A Great Weekend

well, tonight's game vs Detroit has been eventful so far. we're in the midst of a rain delay right now, but to offer a short recap- Junichi Tazawa made his major league debut as a starter and went 5 innings, 1 earned run. his line actually looks pretty good... 4 hits, 2 bb, 6 k.. he threw 35 pitches in the first inning (actually, this was due to not one but TWO botched double plays, one of which was a complete wreck and the other which was broken up by a runner sliding into... shortstop? it definitely wasnt even close to second base and it kept Petey off-balance). he definitely got better as the game went on, and hey, you cant expect super solid performance can you? it's a big transition for a pitcher from AAA to the majors. what a strange game though. they scored 3 runs in the first inning and left us all with pits in our stomachs, thinking of our anemic-as-of-late offense. tazawa was throwing strikes but wasnt overpowering the tigers. bottom of the first and we did nothing. 2nd inning... bay with the 3-run homerun to tie it up. Jason Bay is a fixture favorite, and by that I mean that I know I'll be rooting for him for the rest of my life. Same with Pedroia, although Petey came first. Red Sox uniform or no, Bay and Petey are such likable characters and they make the game exciting.
Before I move on... there was a detroit batter just barely hit on the hand (well, it was just an out of control pitch delivered by a big-league first-timer... come on) and then an inside pitch to victor martinez in retaliation... and then... Porcello DRILLS Youk in the back. And there was no question, Youk was out of the batters box just like that, charging the mound. Porcello looked a little terrified and i dont blame him for it. No damage done in the end but Youk made it to him (you should have seen him go) and they were both on the ground by the time everyone else got to them.
Mikey Lowell came off the bench and hit 2 homeruns.

It's getting late now. Friday was the Paw Sox, and what do you know... we won. Futures at Fenway happened all day Saturday... and now I wish that they'd have a minor league game at Fenway every week. My ticketed seat somehow ended up being the one directly behind Kelly O'Connor who is the photographer behind www.sittingstill.net and who I've known online for about half a year. She had some great camera tips (our cameras are similar.. our zoom capabilities are not!!) and it was refreshing to talk casually with another woman who really just knows baseball. I'll have to jot down some highlights tomorrow because I'm fading fast and there are two games to summarize. I'll try to throw some pictures on here too.

Night.

Stupid computers.

...I went to change the song on my coworker's ipod, and when i turned back to my screen my entire entry (maybe 3 or 4 large paragraphs) were no longer there. There was no "undo" option... so in my frustration, I'm going to get up and get outta here. Paw Sox tonight. Just want to say that Adam Mills (Sea Dogs) is the man, pitching 8 strong innings last night for the win. Nice job. Red Sox/Yankees could be a disaster this time around. Who will be up to stay sooner... Bowden or Tazawa? Tazawa's with the big club tonight.

End of the DAY!

[[edit: cool. i should have thought that blogspot would save this for me. this is the post that was assumed dead, re: the one above this one where I state that what i had typed somewhat magically disappeared when i turned away]]

OOh boy, so excited to get outta here and head south to McCoy. Get myself a Pedroia "replica jersey". Do some scoring. Sit out in the beautiful fading evening. Welcome to the weekend! Clearly, I am so stoked to be away from the office for a few days. Today several things went down that, as of yet, have not caused any serious explosions... but we were all bracing for it, and so being tense for 7.5 hours has been stressful enough without any real fall out occuring. We're also moving our office space across town. We're ALSO upgrading our computer system from prehistoric to early 2000's (huge improvement if you think about it). My boss is also moving (from her house to another, which she is customizing and having terrible luck with). There are about 3 other serious big crazy happenings right now without the events of today.

I'M LOVIN BILLY OCEAN.

Another Sea Dogs win last night... Adam Mills!! He's lookin as good as anyone is right about now. 8 strong innings. Not bad. Red Sox/Yankees game was a different story but I'm not

For Once, It's A Little TOO Bright Outside

Ughhh. Kids my age seem to have this desire to participate in activities that have physical backlashes. I'm no different but instead of having hangovers a couple times a week (or.. ever) I run myself ragged into the night driving across state borders. My head is killing me and my eyes are dry to the point where I have been sitting at my desk and closing one eye for a handful of seconds, then switching to the other eye, in a creative attempt to allow myself to still work while alleviating my dry, sore eyes.
I took yesterday off from work to head up to Maine. It's silly that a bobblehead giveaway would be such a long-anticipated event, but I'd be lying if I said that I hadnt been counting on going since.. man, must be since April, whenever they released the promotions schedule for the Portland Sea Dogs. In fact, to give you a wider scope of things, I had a pretty aggressive schedule planned out at the beginning of the season which was going to allow my Bobblehead Alley to increase exponentially in size. So far, with work and traffic after work, I've only managed to collect two of the bobbleheads I had set my eyes upon- a Petey from Lowell and a Bowden from Portland (last night). I've missed 2 Lowries and 2 Mastersons (and a few others which were never part of my plan to begin with). As it stands, Bobblehead Alley consists of a Bowden, a Youk, and 4 Peteys (a 5th still in its box tucked away; all of them are unique, no repeats!)
Anyway, having Wednesday off split my week up very nicely. My dad paid me to run around Cumberland, ME taking pictures of area businesses for a website. I got my bobblehead, and I got my Sea Dogs Biscuit. I even got a win from the guys, 9-0. Will see them again this Saturday at Futures At Fenway.

My birthday was spectacular. Not only did I have a great (short) day at work, but I won 4 passes to a special season ticket holders/players' guests only Patriots practice for tonight (Thursday, 7pm), spent time with some of my favorite people, viewed a close game (to ask for a win would be far too much with the Paw Sox), had my first beer-at-a-ballpark (terrible), and had my name put up on the scoreboard!! Yeah, that was a big surprise.. I didnt know it was coming and all of a sudden my friends (there were 8 of us) are yelling and pointing towards the scoreboard. I had half a cup of beer in me which enabled me to be more excited than the little kid who was having his own birthday party 3 rows in front of us. More than anything, it was just very thoughtful.

Tonight, Patriots. Tomorrow, Pawtucket for the Pedroia Replica Jersey promotion (yessss!)... then Saturday is Futures, right by the home team's on-deck circle, a few rows back from the field.

Time to work.

The Grave That I'm Digging Is For Me, Of Course..

Explaining how my friday/trade deadline day went would only serve to paint me in an over-dramatic light. (Most of the time if i'm acting over-dramatic it's for comedic value, but once in a while something gets me genuinely riled up.) I was exceedingly anxious, and that's where I'll leave it.

When you like pretty much everyone on your team, no trade is going to leave you feeling 100% without regret or emotion. Add to that an extreme awareness of and interest in the general scope of players in Lowell, Portland, and Pawtucket, and while everyone around Boston is feeling like we've gotten by unscathed with a trade, I've got definite pangs of sorrow. Victor Martinez is a great acquisition for the Red Sox, but Justin Masterson, well, you wont find a human being who has a better heart. All of my interactions with him have been on the superficial level because we're not pals. Still, he has a way of turning even the superficial into the personal- anyone can tell this just by watching his interviews and seeing how he interacts with the people questioning him. He and Meryl (his wife) are not only agreeable, cordial, joyful people, but great role models and great examples of Christianity in action. In an "exit interview" shortly after learning that he'd been traded, Justin was noticeably disappointed but in describing his outlook on the future he said that his ultimate goal is to impact people's lives positively, and that the move to Cleveland will present him with a new venue in which, a new crowd with which to do so. He's a cool cat.
Nick Hagadone... had heard great things, but it was too early to get overly attached. Thankfully, I can easily find solace there in the fact that so much happens developmentally between Single-A (where he had been) and the bigs that his projected greatness could still only be just that- a far off projection.
Bryan Price... same thing, but I hardly knew of him.
The fact is, we made out like bandits acquiring VMart for the guys we sent to Cleveland. Could have been so much worse. I'm really not complaining but giving due homage to Justin. He's blessed in the way that he'll be loved wherever he goes.

I got a small dose of Soul Fest this year... went up on Friday night and stayed through this morning. This year was the worst in every way, hands down. I wasnt there for the entire time (it started on Wednesday, ended Saturday night) but my experience (or sense, where i lacked actual first-hand experience), was that a lot of things had changed organizationally and musically for the worse. Oh well- ever since the demise of Five Iron Frenzy and the evacuation of Relient K, it has never been the same for me. Still, I attend so I can catch up with the singer/songwriters I only see once or twice annually. The Sanctus Real show was stellar, as were the few sets I caught that involved my friend Brant and my longtime (holy smokes, 8 or 9 years now!) acquaintance Justin. Beyond that, it was slim pickin's. Inside Out Soul Fest (before it was shortened to Soul Fest) was the single most influential, impactful, important event on my calendar year after year while I was in high school and college. I became who I am in large part thanks to IOSF, so I'm certainly not just trying to be critical. I've been going for 9 years and I've seen many versions of the event as things have changed a little bit, or in some cases a-lotta-bit. They're going to have to backtrack next year. Sometime when I'm in the writing mood and I've got time, I'll post about the IOSF of old. I wish I wasnt far from God right now. I think back to my "youth", and even just so far back as 6 months ago, and wonder why it is that we are so prone to walk away. How do we get far off the path we were on, and once we realize where we've strayed, how do we find it again? I dont converse with God regularly, but otherwise my behavior isnt/actions arent wild or dangerous or altered. I've never been interested in being wild. I dont find drinking/drugs/promiscuity freeing, and in fact it seems the opposite to me because, talk about chains, talk about being bound, those are all examples of easy ways to tie yourself up and into a serious mess. Jason Upton, a worship leader at the fest, said something to the effect of, Dont mistake man's approval for God's. It was very striking for me to hear that. I wear a ring on my left hand that used to remind me constantly that I am free from the expectations of those around me. It used to work very effectively as a symbol of the freedom that Jesus Christ has offered to me- the freedom to choose how I live my life (by the way, Christians are free to drink/swear/etc, it's just that a lot of us dont find excessive use of any of those things to be productive.. I enjoy me a good beer and I definitely let some of my strong thoughts fly when Michael Bowden is getting hit hard, for example :) ) with the condition that my choices lead me towards Him. (Hint- God is Love. if the main goal and commandment is to Love God with all your heart/soul/strength/mind, this to me means loving and pursuing what He's interested in, which is -in its most basic form- loving people. For God so loved the world... )
These days, I absolutely covet the approval, the alignment of my actions/plans with those of the people around me. That has led to so much confusion over what and who I should spend my time on, what I should become knowledgeable about, and let me tell you- I could have guessed it had I seen it coming, but the people around me (coworkers, friends outside the church) unspokenly agree that the things God cares about are not the things I need to be concerned with. I have not conformed entirely to life without God (what is life without God? what does that even mean? God is or He isnt, and He certainly is, of that I am sure forever, no matter what turns my life takes). Still, the things I was passionate about- involvement at the Vineyard, involvement with Not For Sale or Love146, a desire to see the end of homelessness in my city... eh. That's a memory. What I know for sure is that I need to get back to that place because THAT is who i am, and that is who i want to be. I know too many people who are content (and even more than that- who dont fathom any different life) to live solely for themselves. That idea has never once been an option in my mind, no matter how selfishly I have lived for the past 3 or so months- I cant imagine the world without compassion and unprecedented, undeserved love. At the crux of Christianity is the Truth that God has created and therefore knows the heart of each person (regardless of whether you know Him too), and that He passionately desires each heart to receive the uncalled-for, empowering, father-like, bold, unstoppable, and fearless Love that He's offering. A beautiful aspect of that Love is that it drives us to love others. What does all of that mean? you might wonder. God is offering us love? What about money, success, etc? ...those things might seem more useful when you lack them (or rather when you feel like you lack them- it's all relative, remember... any of us in the USA are wealthy beyond imagining by the standards of those in third-world countries). I would argue that those things dont make or break how fulfilled you are (happiness is usually the word to use here, but happiness is fleeting, volatile, and really irrelevant- if you have all of the nice clothes you desire but there are 10's or 100's of slaves who have manufactured/sewed/whatever'd your clothes, good job. you're happy. and you're also adding to the human bondage/trafficking market). I cant even say that I dont shop at certain places that are known to exploit workers... for all that I care about the issue, I am not close to being free from feeding the fire, so to speak. Dont let anyone tell you that churches are hypocrite-free. We're all hypocrites, and in particular, any Christian who thinks that going to church and even following as best they can the teachings of Jesus sets them above/apart from others has another thing coming. This kind of elitism is one of the stereotypical tendencies among pockets of Christianity that makes me smack my forehead. The Bible makes it painfully clear that we're not perfect no matter if we call ourselves Christians or not, so I'm not sure where the idea that church is for people who have it all together came from.

Human interaction, creating and nurturing relationships, now that's what's going to bring Heaven to Earth. At 1am, this all looks far too simplified. It's tough to write about faith because there are so many questions surrounding it and so many tangents to run off on. Also... I'm simply not the best "explainer" and I certainly dont profess to have all of the answers. I simply have my own experience, along with the experiences of those with whom I'm close and the need I see in the world for the gifts of fantastic Love and Mercy that we've been offered, to work off of.

Hmm. I feel like so many people out there are ready to verbally pound anyone who simply talks about this stuff and I'm a little weary of feeling uncomfortable/even on eggshells talking about this major part of who I am. I'm not good at talking about it, that's the thing- so I'd welcome open dialogue with anyone who wants to talk about faith, religion (something i often find myself steering clear of- but has it been meaningful to you?), spirituality... the only rule is that there's no maliciousness involved in the conversation. Honesty/personal good or bad experiences, on the other hand, will not only be accepted but encouraged, and will be handled without any offense taken.

Well, what can I say? I officially turn 24 at 1:07am or thereabouts, i believe. August 3rd. It's a great day for a birthday :) PawSox tonight (it's officially the 3rd even though it's not yet day) with some good friends... no work for me on Wednesday as I hike up I-95 for Bowden Bobblehead night at the SeaDogs... Futures at Fenway on Saturday... and a few things in between all of that! Good night.